Laura’s father’s bucket list (Image: Adrian Bacolo)<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n \u201cI was terrified,\u201d says Laura, who threw up as the ground hurtled towards her while skydiving.<\/p>\n \u201cSurfing the Pacific was also really scary; I must have wiped out 20 times, as was sailing alone: I capsized.\u201d<\/p>\n Laura was 25 years old when her father was killed in 2003 in a car crash by a teen driver distracted by a mobile phone.<\/p>\n Thirteen years later, she discovered that her father, salesman Mick Carney of Delaware, had left a bucket list: 60 adventures and achievements he wished to accomplish in his lifetime, inscribed on folded notepaper. He had only ticked off five of them, including performing stand-up comedy in a club, and being interviewed on the radio.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Laura, by then 38 years old, decided to complete her father\u2019s dream.<\/p>\n \u201cTicking off my father\u2019s list really changed me,\u201d she says. \u201cI\u2019d been focused on status, my job and money. The list made me realise it\u2019s the journey that\u2019s important, not the destination.<\/p>\n \u201cI was up at 20,000 feet about to skydive, really afraid, when I heard a voice inside my head \u2013 perhaps my father\u2019s voice \u2013 saying: \u2018Let go\u2019. Jumping out of a plane makes you less fearful of everything else in your life. If you let any fear stop you doing something new, you\u2019re hurting your chances to grow, to find out what you\u2019re capable of.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Pursuing the bucket list brought Laura closer to her father, taught her to believe in herself, and led her to write her mesmerising new book, My Father\u2019s List, which offers lessons for everyone.<\/p>\n \u201cHe taught me the value of selfishness \u2013 not putting myself first, but making self-growth the focus of life,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n Her father\u2019s list took her to New Orleans, Berlin, Vienna, the Caribbean and England, touring royal venues including Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle and the Tower of London. \u201cVisiting Britain was special because my family traces its ancestry back to the White Queen, Elizabeth Woodville, who married Edward IV,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n READ MORE: <\/strong> The hedgehog called Peggy who helped heal hearts and inspired a memoir <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n DAREDEVIL: Skydiving terrified her, but ticked off another of her dad’s goals (Image: Adrian Bacolo)<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n Elizabeth was a 15th-century beauty whose sons by the king became the doomed Princes in the Tower, presumed murdered so that Richard III could seize the throne. She appears in two of Shakespeare\u2019s plays, and Philippa Gregory\u2019s 2009 bestseller The White Queen.<\/p>\n Laura, by contrast, is a 45-year-old copy editor and writer living in New Jersey, who has battled depression and whose greatest ambition was to work on a magazine \u2013 until her father\u2019s list consumed her life. \u201cI was devastated by his death, so when we found his list in 2016 I felt I had to fulfil his dream,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n Perhaps Laura was lucky to have a father whose ambitions were not more life-threatening: he didn\u2019t aspire to climb Mount Everest, dive the wreck of the Titanic, or run with the bulls at Pamplona. Instead the list led her to run 10 miles straight, beat a tennis pro, grow a watermelon, learn to play the guitar, record five songs, and start a charitable foundation. She fulfilled her father\u2019s dream of chatting with a US president \u2013 \u201cthe most impossible list item\u201d, she believed \u2013 and corresponding with the Pope.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n \u201cJimmy Carter was president when my father wrote the list, so I went to meet him in Plains, Georgia, where he taught Sunday school,\u201d she says. \u201cI sat in the church pew behind him, and we spoke after the service. He was very gracious.\u201d<\/p>\n Pope Francis sent his blessings to Laura and prayed for her father\u2019s \u201ceternal rest\u201d in response to her letter. But in pursuing the list, she also discovered her father\u2019s darkest secret, and the reason behind her parents\u2019 divorce when she was just six: he liked to dress as a woman.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019d lived a double life, and that must have taken so much of his energy,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n \u201cThough I never knew he cross-dressed, his secret affected me. I\u2019d absorbed the feelings his life gave him. I\u2019d absorbed his shame. Which he had for no reason.<\/p>\n \u201cWorking on my father\u2019s list made me more compassionate towards him. I realised I was braver and more resourceful than I thought. I worked harder, and discovered I was athletic \u2013 by the end I was training for a triathlon.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Towering achievement: Laura visiting London with husband (Image: Adrian Bacolo)<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n Yet chasing her father\u2019s dreams almost bankrupted Laura, with global travel and tickets for top sporting events: her seat at American football\u2019s Super Bowl alone cost her \u00a34,000. \u201cFor my wedding my mother gave me money as downpayment on a house, and I spent it all on the list,\u201d Laura admits.<\/p>\n \u201cI apologised, but my mother said: \u2018That\u2019s OK \u2013 your writing is your home.\u2019 That made me cry. My husband was very supportive, even though money was tight at times. It helped me find forgiveness for my father, who always seemed low on cash.\u201d Part of Laura\u2019s charm is her human frailty: she\u2019s not Wonder Woman, and did not excel at every goal. Surfing, she barely stood upright for two seconds. Sailing solo she had to be towed back to port.<\/p>\n \u201cOne of her most valuable lessons was learning to forgive herself, especially when fudging some of the list.<\/p>\n He wanted his own tennis court; she bought a ping pong table. He wanted to \u201cown a large house with our own land\u201d, she bought a three-person tent.<\/p>\n He wanted to ride a fast horse; she barely broke into a trot. He wanted to sell a million dollars worth of merchandise; she babysat her cousin\u2019s kids, which her cousin assured Laura was worth $1million in kind.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Laura and husband Steven with former President Jimmy Carter and his wife Rossalyn (Image: Adrian Bacolo)<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n But in all her endeavours Laura clearly tried her hardest with an open heart, accepting whatever may come. Along the way she was aided by hundreds of family, friends and strangers touched by her desire to complete her father\u2019s list. She even came to appreciate the teen driver who had sailed through a red light in 2003 was not trying to kill her father. \u201cShe had hung up her mobile phone, but studies show drivers\u2019 focus remains narrow for the next 27 seconds,\u201d says Laura, who has become a leading advocate against so-called distracted driving. \u201cOnce I knew that, I forgave her in my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n Having completed her own lifetime goal of publishing a book, Laura has written her own bucket list of 100 things to do before she dies, but says: \u201cI feel bad for anyone who finds my list and tries to complete it. It\u2019s more adventurous and involves a lot more travel than my dad\u2019s list.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n \u201cI want to see a volcano up close, and an elephant, trek the Himalayas and travel Asia. I have already checked off 21 items on my list, including visiting The Beatles\u2019 Abbey Road studio and the home of AA Milne \u201cI might not be attempting any of that without having done my father\u2019s list. My father rescued me. He helped me to find my inner adventurousness and fulfilment.<\/p>\n \u201cI believe that loved ones who die are still guiding us, and want us to be happy. I\u2019m so glad that I finally trusted my father.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n My Father\u2019s List by Laura Carney (Permuted Press, \u00a312.99) is available to order from Express Bookshop. Visit expressbookshop.com or call Express Bookshop on 020 3176 3832. Free UK P&P on online orders over \u00a325 <\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n [ad_2]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" [ad_1] Laura’s father’s bucket list (Image: Adrian Bacolo) \u201cI was terrified,\u201d says Laura, who threw up as the ground hurtled towards her while skydiving. \u201cSurfing the Pacific was also really scary; I must have wiped out 20 times, as was sailing alone: I capsized.\u201d Laura was 25 years old when her father was killed in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6932,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1023],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/farratanews.online\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6930"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/farratanews.online\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/farratanews.online\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/farratanews.online\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/farratanews.online\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6930"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/farratanews.online\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6930\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/farratanews.online\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6932"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/farratanews.online\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6930"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/farratanews.online\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6930"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/farratanews.online\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6930"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"](\"https:\/\/cdn.images.express.co.uk\/img\/dynamic\/39\/590x\/secondary\/4964635.jpg?r=1694986564957\" "\\"")
<\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture><\/p>\n![\"](\"https:\/\/cdn.images.express.co.uk\/img\/dynamic\/39\/590x\/secondary\/4964639.jpg?r=1694986569354\" "\\"")
<\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture><\/p>\n![\"](\"https:\/\/cdn.images.express.co.uk\/img\/dynamic\/39\/590x\/secondary\/4964642.jpg?r=1694986569411\" "\\"")
<\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture><\/p>\n![\"](\"https:\/\/cdn.images.express.co.uk\/img\/dynamic\/39\/590x\/secondary\/4964648.jpg?r=1694986569465\" "\\"")
<\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture><\/p>\n
in England.<\/p>\n